Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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