How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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