i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
