So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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