I smell stomach acid.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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