Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
