Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
