Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
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It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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