get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
