Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
vagina is talking i cant
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I deserve this hangover.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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