my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
