Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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