my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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