Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I want to be your penis for a week.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
