I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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