But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Buhtt sex?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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