I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
