I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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