i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
A+ Viking dick
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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