Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
