Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
