so that wasnt chicken after all
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
