Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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