I wanna passion pit in your ass
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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