this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
