maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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