just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
