Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
