I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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