Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize