Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
