so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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