If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
