every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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