his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
