btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
