First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
