It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
my shit smells like andre
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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