Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
