After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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