We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
