I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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