Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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