I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
