I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
