I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
