great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
