I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
