Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
