Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
