so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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