is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
