yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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