Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
