Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Everyone says I win the strip club
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
