Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize