Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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