well I can't set my house on fire every night
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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