ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
