My nipple is on Facebook.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
