i permit you to call me
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
