he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
